When we must be able to grow from saying... "I am trying" to "I will stop". I will take a stand, I am worth drawing a line in the sand for. Several times in my life, I am proud to say, I was able to say, NEVER AGAIN. Never again will I purge. Never again, will I risk my life in certain ways. Never again, will I allow certain influences upon me. Never again, will I allow certain things/ situations/people to hurt me. Never again will I carelessly put myself in harms way.
These are hard moments, but these are the strongest moments. These are our most defining moments. These are our safest moments and our most life altering. These are the moments we have our voice, even if we do it in silence. These are our most beautiful, intelligent, soaring, inspiring, confident and FREE moments.
I hope my friends are able to reach their "never agains" someday as well. Trust me, I do know how hard it is.
Because we are "what if-er"s and "if only-ers" and "maybe it will be different this tim-ers".... we like to leave doors open and we don't trust ourselves and our instincts. We are afraid our voices will fail us and we are afraid that the consequences of standing up for ourselves and our altered future will be worse than if we just leave it alone. But sometimes... a change must come. That is the only way out of the place you are in.
Practice just saying that.... "never again".... doesn't that sound nice!
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No more
Never again shall I kneel to thee
Demon of my haunted self
Turning myself inside out
For you no more
I am not your human bride
I shall not sacrifice my
Soul to your chains of eternal thirst and hunger
And doomsday reflections
These hands I own
This body I nourish to walk forth strongly towards
It’s destiny
This mouth to laugh
And sing
And fill with earthly delights as indeed
I now fill my soul
With the beautiful things
That once were hidden from me
When I was yours
No more ED demon
I cast you back
To the pits of hell
Where you belong!
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