The road to hell

Is paved with good intentions...

I pondered that phrase for a long time and never really understood it until recently. For me, I think it has great bearing on our lives and our problems. So many times, we take small actions, small steps, believing we are doing the right thing, yet never realizing or remembering that we are indeed being guided by this greater force.

Case in point: Drinking green mint tea nonstop because it calms me and will keep me from eating too much, because eating too much will make me anxious, and being anxious about food will push me over the edge. Well, unfortunately, drinking too much tea, is a diuretic and ultimately an appetite suppressant, it, in and of itself, is serving "the dark lord's" purpose as well.

While many times the things that can help us, e.g., drinking a cup of green mint tea AT THE RIGHT TIME, can pave the road to recovery... if done too often and at the wrong times (e.g., non-stop from 10 am to 3 pm) only reinforces the path to hell.

A stronger case in point: Using sexuality and relationships with men to attempt to obtain positive feedback and build a ("false") sense of self and confidence in one's body image. However, developing healthy reciprocal relationships based on respect and mutual attraction can genuinely result in higher self confidence and a wonderful sense of self, safety, trust, and accomplishment.

Much of our recovery, and the steps on the road to recovery are subtleties, and being black and white thinkers that we are... it's HARD for us to see the subtleties...