Thursday, July 24, 2008

Back to my writing

I've decided to go back to my recovery book again

It seems a little hypocritical since I recently experienced failure again, but right now I can use the book myself!

So organizing it, rereading it, using my own strategies that I wrote before. I am my own test case right now. I am taking out things that now don't seem right, that I can see I wrote from a perspective that was too shallow, not accurate, and not broad enough to capture enough different experiences.

Maybe I am intellectualizing again, but I like to think I am regaining my strength and my sense of self and purpose again through this effort that is so important to me. My recovery has been a source of pride for me. My relapses each have been brief, and each have allowed me to see "one more thing" that I needed to work on. There are so many pieces of the puzzle that one has to be able to work on with these conditions. I think until each puzzle piece is in place- you can not prevent relapse, otherwise you are still vulnerable- whether it is by psychology or physiology.

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