Lately I have become so accustomed to being a Recoverer and reaching out to people as a Recoverer, that I have more and more become used to bringing it up and mentioning it to people. Yet I have forgotten perhaps how startling it is for people. I am at a crossroads in figuring out how to deal with this. Last night I mentioned it to an acquaintance over drinks as it was important context for a broader story I was telling. And I didn't really wish to go on a tangent and reveal more than the fact that I was "an eating disorder recoverer". Yet for her, I could see the surprise, discomfort, alarm and tentative curiosity. She danced "gently" between probing and avoiding. I think we have to continue to remember others comfort levels.
However, what I have decided is that I do not necessarily have to make peace with my past (in so many ways) but i do have to make peace with my present. And my present and my future is this- I am an Eating Disorder Recoverer. This is a real label that right now I wear. It is an important part of my soul and a guiding part of my future endeavors. As another friend repeatedly tells me, if I am ashamed and look down on myself, and model this through my words and actions, how do I expect others to treat me and those who suffer.
We are everywhere, we are your sisters, your teachers, your daughters, your friends, your colleagues, your mothers, your wives and lovers.
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