Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Because I am more than just a recoverer

Lately, I've chosen happiness, and life, and joy more and more. I've chosen things to be a part of that are Ed free and when triggers come up or reminders of my disordered past come up, I have chosen to not let them hold me down, but I have been able to say, it's ok; Today I am healthy and that is a part of the past.

Because there is so much more to life than the eating disorder, or being a person with the eating disorder. Sometimes we struggle so much, and it's so much a part of us, that we allow the very process of recovery to consume us and even those around us.

Part of walking away healthy and free from this disorder is being able to celebrate life and enjoy it and CONSUME IT...

I am CONSUMING life...without the snares and traps of Ed right now.

And it is beautiful.

But becoming very strong and very aware of triggers and your patterns and being able to take your own internal "recovery temperature" is necessary I think before you can do this. I think you have to be vigillant and cautious and over-aware for years and years before you can feel what I am feeling right now.

But what I am feeling right now is delicious and I hope an inspiration for others.

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