Just as I am

I don’t like to share much specific details about my personal situation on here, as it seems somewhat in questionable taste.

However, you could say, my heart took quite a journey the last several years. Over the last few years, I was forced to examine the relationship that I was in and the effects it was having on my well being and the well being of my children. Eventually I decided to end that relationship and end the pain and neverending confusion in my life that it caused. Then the journey took me on the path that included the bumps and bruises along the way of redefining myself as a single woman.

And then out of the blue, when my life was momentarily still, a new relationship began. And there is a story about that relationship, that I would like to tell.....

About a year and a half ago, when my other relationship was clearly over, and I was in a dark and quiet and contemplative place, a friend told me to write my “bottomlines” as I like to call them. This is the list of things you will never settle for in a relationship again. The things you must have. And I did. And that list is private and just for me, so I won’t post all of them here. But so you have an understand of the gist of them, a few of them are:

He must smile when I walk into the room

He must love children and understand how I love children

And about six months into my relationship, I revisited this list and found that indeed, and to my utter amazement, my guy met every criteria on my must have's list.

And then I realized, the other day, there is a criteria I did not put on the list, that perhaps would have trumped all of them. That this new relationship brings to me that profoundly amazes me each and every day.

He must love me just as I am

This kind of love; this love without judgment ; Love without desire for perfection or change, is a new experience for me. It is healing, it is right, and it is liberating. It encourages me to love myself as I am. It is comfortable and it is comforting.

And the reason I share this, is because I want to encourage my friends to BELIEVE, and to encourage you to include this on your lists. To never doubt that this is out there. And to hold high standards for the love you seek. What if we had this expectation for every supportive relationship we sought in life? How different would our lives, and indeed the world be?