But first... you have to want it......

Recovery is a long and arduous journey and we will doubleback and take many detours and winding paths.

And we will stumble and we will fall.

But first, and always first....

You do have to want it enough.

Unlike other things in life, it is something where wanting it enough does count.

It is our dark and dirty little secret, that we do not want to let it go.

That we still believe in it, take shelter and comfort in it.

That it is in our friend in darkness.

It does not matter how wrong we are, how confused we are, how much evidence to the contrary we are presented with- remember- it is a mental illness.

But that is the true first step.

You have to want it.

You have to want to unfold your fist and let go of the thing you have been holding onto so tightly- like a superstition....because that is what it really is. A superstition, only this one isn't silly, like a rabbits foot, or a lucky penny. It's deadly.