We all know how that phrase goes..
"make me the fairest of them all"
For some of us, the mirrors mean more to us than others though.
My life has been controlled by mirrors. Real mirrors, mirrors projected to me by others, and mirrors I have imagined projected upon me by others.
Always my physical appearance, my weight, my size in space, is the feature that is paramount to my existence and my worth in this world.
Today at 10 a.m., the mirror was kind, but honest. A middle aged, but not overly thin nor overweight mom viewed back at me. Kinda cute if looked at in the right direction in fact.
Today at 7 p.m, the mirror was cruel. An aging, overweight, cellulite ridden women with bags of fat. The amount of exercise it would take to shape this woman back into something "acceptable" for society to view... seemed so overwhelming. Too overwhelming to bear, and frankly, not eating is just easier.
There are magic mirrors everywhere, only my magic mirrors are cruel, they change and distort and capture the "reality" of my changing internal reality. If one could see what the picture in the mirrors were as I walked by, they would know the haunting reality of my changing internal existence throughout the day.
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