Meal Plans May Be Forever....
As I am becoming more and more happy and growing into my body and accepting food. I do find myself from time to time stressed with the "new me" and the "new body". I remember though, that if I am essentially following "the meal plan", then I have that comfort that I am ok, I am doing what my body needs and it assures me that I am where I should be and it will take care of me in the end.
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Can an ED Recoverer Eat Bacon?
Yes, Virginia, they can. With faith, and trust and pixie dust. They can.
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How is the NEW BODY working out for you?
It is softer, it is womanly, the curves are in the right places, and my bras fit again. It pleases me. I still have clothes that fit it. Makes sure you keep all your clothing in all your healthy sizes. It makes it so much easier when you are healthy again to find something to wear and to enjoy being healthy again.
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Donuts?
Yum. Sparingly.
But Yum.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Because I am more than just a recoverer
Lately, I've chosen happiness, and life, and joy more and more. I've chosen things to be a part of that are Ed free and when triggers come up or reminders of my disordered past come up, I have chosen to not let them hold me down, but I have been able to say, it's ok; Today I am healthy and that is a part of the past.
Because there is so much more to life than the eating disorder, or being a person with the eating disorder. Sometimes we struggle so much, and it's so much a part of us, that we allow the very process of recovery to consume us and even those around us.
Part of walking away healthy and free from this disorder is being able to celebrate life and enjoy it and CONSUME IT...
I am CONSUMING life...without the snares and traps of Ed right now.
And it is beautiful.
But becoming very strong and very aware of triggers and your patterns and being able to take your own internal "recovery temperature" is necessary I think before you can do this. I think you have to be vigillant and cautious and over-aware for years and years before you can feel what I am feeling right now.
But what I am feeling right now is delicious and I hope an inspiration for others.
Because there is so much more to life than the eating disorder, or being a person with the eating disorder. Sometimes we struggle so much, and it's so much a part of us, that we allow the very process of recovery to consume us and even those around us.
Part of walking away healthy and free from this disorder is being able to celebrate life and enjoy it and CONSUME IT...
I am CONSUMING life...without the snares and traps of Ed right now.
And it is beautiful.
But becoming very strong and very aware of triggers and your patterns and being able to take your own internal "recovery temperature" is necessary I think before you can do this. I think you have to be vigillant and cautious and over-aware for years and years before you can feel what I am feeling right now.
But what I am feeling right now is delicious and I hope an inspiration for others.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Playmates and playgrounds
Recovery (and indeed life) is about choices.
Choices about the actions we take every day. Actions to be healthy, actions to be wise, to be mindful, to be cautious.
One of the critical choices we have to make is the people we are with and the places (or situations) we place ourselves in. We are not passive in this. These places and people do not fall out of the sky upon us, we walk into these situations and we can just as easily walk out of them.
A major risk factor in relapse literature is the people and situations we interact with. They do not intentionally wish to sabotage us, but other people who are not healthy, who engage in behaviors who push us in directions that cause us to relapse, or who are from unhealthy places in our past- represent unsafe circles that we must interact with with extreme caution.
Similarly, food is everywhere and there are places where food is consumed in ways we can not deal as well with. I have come to accept that at times in my life, I am not as strong and the voices are louder. There are times when I have to walk away from these situations where food is around me and literally hurting me. And that's ok. Because feeling safe and feeling good inside is ultimately my most important goal.
It IS ok to make happiness and sanity and well being the most important thing in your life... it is OK to make it all about you.
Choices about the actions we take every day. Actions to be healthy, actions to be wise, to be mindful, to be cautious.
One of the critical choices we have to make is the people we are with and the places (or situations) we place ourselves in. We are not passive in this. These places and people do not fall out of the sky upon us, we walk into these situations and we can just as easily walk out of them.
A major risk factor in relapse literature is the people and situations we interact with. They do not intentionally wish to sabotage us, but other people who are not healthy, who engage in behaviors who push us in directions that cause us to relapse, or who are from unhealthy places in our past- represent unsafe circles that we must interact with with extreme caution.
Similarly, food is everywhere and there are places where food is consumed in ways we can not deal as well with. I have come to accept that at times in my life, I am not as strong and the voices are louder. There are times when I have to walk away from these situations where food is around me and literally hurting me. And that's ok. Because feeling safe and feeling good inside is ultimately my most important goal.
It IS ok to make happiness and sanity and well being the most important thing in your life... it is OK to make it all about you.
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